2022
Christmastime Story Hour
BAD BOSS TRIES TO CANCEL CHRISTMAS VACATION; HE HUMBUGGED AROUND AND FOUND OUT!
Christmas Eve 2022: Bah & the Humbugs, America's Premier Satiric Christmas Rock Band, return with Christmastime Story Hour. At Gaslight Industries, bad boss Mr. Scumbug tries to keep the elves working straight through Christmas, and finds out why you don't mess with Santa. Includes the new Humbugs songs "Your Christmas Star" and "Boss of Christmas," and Humbugs classics "Christmas Bonus" and "Perry T. Partridge (The Christmas Detective)."
Sound effects credits:
Magic Wand Glitter by Iwan Gabovitch under CC-BY 3.0 License
Cat fighting sounds by ebcrosby under CC-BY 3.0 License.
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LISTEN / DOWNLOAD / LYRICS
Listen to "Your Christmas Star":
Download "Your Christmas Star"
Your Christmas Star
(music and lyrics by Paul Nordquist)
A deep winter night when nothing is growing
Snow covers the fields where the last harvest grew
Every star in the cold sky has a dream that it’s holding
And one of those dreams is being held just for you
When Christmas bells ring out today
They ring for our hopes, whatever those are
Not everything fits in a box with a ribbon
But no wish is too big for your Christmas star
Some long for love, some dream of freedom
Some yearn for a home, to be warm by the fire
We hold all kinds of heartaches and secret ambitions
There’s a star in the heavens for every desire
When Christmas bells ring out today
They ring for our hopes, whatever those are
Not everything fits in a box with a ribbon
But no wish is too big for your Christmas star
Not everything fits in a box with a ribbon
But no wish is too big for your Christmas star
But no wish is too big for your Christmas star
Listen to "Boss of Christmas":
Boss of Christmas
(music and lyrics by Paul Nordquist)
Are you the Christmas boss?
Who’s the boss, who’s the boss?
Are you the Christmas boss?
Who’s the boss of Christmas?
Are you the Crimson King?
Who’s the boss, who’s the boss?
Are you the Crimson King?
Who’s the boss of Christmas?
I want to have a word with you
Can I have a word or two?
I want to have a word with you,
If you, if you’re the boss of Christmas
Are you the Tinsel Queen?
Who’s the boss, who’s the boss?
Are you the Tinsel Queen?
Who’s the boss of Christmas?
Are you the Christmas boss?
Who’s the boss, who’s the boss?
Are you the Christmas boss?
Who’s the boss of Christmas?
Listen to "Christmas Bonus":
Christmas Bonus
(music and lyrics by Amy Guskin)
December 22nd, it's the last day of work
Before my two-week vacation from that jolly old jerk
We've been churning out toys for the 51st week
Waiting for our paycheck from that red-suited geek
Don't get me wrong
I love my job
I'm not just a short, elitist snob
But keeping up a cheery front is really an onus
While counting the days until my Christmas bonus
With this year's bonanza I'll pack up my harmonica
And hop the first sleigh for Santa Monica
I'll lay on the sand and play in the surf
And beat up anybody who calls me a Smurf
Don't get me wrong
Work's really cool
I took Philosophy of Toys when I went to school,
To say I'm eager wouldn't be erroneous
I just can't wait for my Christmas bonus
Slave-driving Santa won't have me there
To get his coffee and to bleach his hair
He'll just have to learn to do it himself
Or call up the agency for a temporary elf
Don't get me wrong
It's a way to make a living
He's just like Robin Hood: always giving
But Santa Claus is just a little less felonious
It's not a crime, it's my Christmas bonus
Don't get me wrong
My job's all right
The overtime pay is out of sight
I love money but I'm not parsimonious
I'll spend every penny of my Christmas bonus.
Listen to "Perry T. Partridge (The Christmas Detective)":
Download "Perry T. Partridge (The Christmas Detective)"
Perry T. Partridge (The Christmas Detective)
(music and lyrics by Paul Nordquist)
If someone's out to get you this Yule
You can tell you're being played for a fool
If everything you buy is either stale or defective
Call up Perry T. Partridge, the Christmas detective
Now some grinch has cleaned you out, wall to wall
But your brother lost no gifts at all
What kind of burglar could have been so selective?
Let's ask Perry T. Partridge, the Christmas detective
If your Momma and Santa get wed
While your Poppa lies suspiciously dead
If something is rotten in your Denmark Collective
Call on Perry T. Partridge, the Christmas detective