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May 23, 2004

Grand Piano

Expensive things get destroyed in Hollywood action movies. When we go see the latest blockbuster, we expect to see things blown up, struck by falling meteorites, or crushed by stampeding dinosaurs. But I shudder when I see a shiny grand piano come into frame, because I know that it will soon be a pile of strings and splinters. This is a fast ska song with some wicked classical piano licks.

written by Paul Nordquist + performed by Amy Guskin (vocals), Paul Nordquist (grand piano), and the Zongo Session Players

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Action movie, scene eleven, rich guy's mansion
True to form, the place is getting trashed
Bullet holes in window glass and velvet curtains
Vintage Jaguar — oops, the car just crashed
Secret agents battle Ninjas, tear the place apart
And it's beautifully ironic
If you're hit with a priceless work of art

I'm just glad they don't have a grand piano
No one needs to see one more grand piano
Fall victim to Hollywood tonight

When good guys fight bad guys
Good manners go out the window
Along with china, chairs, a chessboard,
Bottles, bowls, and a banjo
But, please, not the grand piano!
It's tragic to see it get ruined
The worst is when it's just been
Meticulously tuned

Action movies never let you see the cleanup
Injured flunkies taken to E.R.
Workers fixing broken doors and shattered windows
Tow truck driver drags away the car
The repairs could take up one whole sequel
But it'd never sell
Unless you add three sexy women
And a cyborg beast from hell

I'm just glad they don't have a grand piano
No one needs to see one more grand piano
Fall victim to Hollywood tonight
Fall victim to Hollywood tonight
Fall victim to Hollywood tonight

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