Zong of the Week - http://zongoftheweek.com

May 9, 2004

The All-Occasion I Hate My Mind-Numbing Corporate Job Song

This is for all of you cubicle-dwelling Dilbert-reading drones who live in a world where logic is infinitely twistable and where sincerity is even rarer than the satisfaction of a job well done. Take heart — things could always be worse.

written by Paul Nordquist + performed by Paul Nordquist (vocals) and the Zongo Session Players

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My boss comes in with a brand new laptop
It's a mighty fine, top-of-the-line, Pentium 9, brand new laptop
I say, "I thought there wasn't any budget for new equipment"
He says "Shut up"

The employee survey says morale is in the pits
The boss says, "Ooh, that isn't true
Which one of you put morale down in the pits?
I'll flog you all every day and cut your paychecks
'Til that guy quits"

I hate this job
It's a dead-end job in a horrible place
You know how I despise it
My heart is filled with loathing and antipathy
'Til I cannot disguise it
It's disgusting, it's demeaning, it's degrading,
It's like eating from a trough, ooh
Have I mentioned how I absolutely hate it?
But please don't lay me off, no
Don't you lay me off

Well, I phone I.T. 'cause the network is dead
No fooling around, it's totally down, like a Mac with a frown
The network is dead
They say, "We only take support requests by e-mail.
Use that instead"

I hate this job
It's a dead-end job in a horrible place
You know how I despise it
My heart is filled with loathing and antipathy
'Til I cannot disguise it
It's disgusting, it's demeaning, it's degrading,
It's like eating from a trough, ooh
I love this job -- not!
You know I hate it
But please don't lay me off, no
Don't you lay me off

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