Zong of the Week - http://zongoftheweek.com

April 18, 2004

Weapons of Mars Destruction

This just in: We found out where Saddam hid his weapons! He knew that US troops would scour every inch of Iraq, so he turned his arsenal over to Al-Qamar, a gang of interplaneterrorists based on the Moon and possibly Mars. The CIA doesn't have agents on the ground in either location, but they just checked all of their sources and they can confirm that the Martians pose a real and imminent threat to planetary security. Now President Bush wants to go to the Moon and Mars, to find and destroy their weapons, and to blast those "axis of evil" planets back to the stone age! It's time to end the tyranny of the Face on Mars and that despotic Man in the Moon! Oh, and bring democracy to outer space, too.

lyrics advisory: contains one unbleeped vulgarity

written by Paul Nordquist + performed by Paul Nordquist (vocals) and the Zongo Session Players

+ Home +

Have you heard the wonderful news from Iraq?
We finally got Saddam to talk.
He told us where he hid those weapons
And you better believe we're gonna go get 'em.

We'll skip the inspectors, screw the UN
We're not going through that bullshit again
I'm tired of waiting to settle this score
So I've asked Congress to authorize war

With the Moon and Mars
The Moon and Mars

The CIA gathered all the facts
They watched "Independence Day" and "Mars Attacks"
They said "These aren't fluffy bunnies from space.
They're green and they're mean to the human race!"

The Face on Mars is sneering at us,
And the Man in the Moon is glaring at us.
Can we just stand by while they threaten our freedom?
Not for a minute! We gotta defeat 'em!

The Moon and Mars
The Moon and Mars

NASA said "Please don't hit our rover"
Sorry, science boys, play time is over
Looks like a portable chem lab to me
We're dropping the bomb on the count of three

Those interplaneterrorists know
We'll hunt them down wherever they go
We're bound to get them sooner or later
Blast the dust out of every crater

On the Moon and Mars
The Moon and Mars

We can't miss this chance to bring democracy to outer space
Shoot down the Man on the Moon and wipe the sneer off that Martian Face
And if you don't join us you're a traitor to the human race
The human race

Just look at Mars, it's completely medieval
Spinning around on its axis of evil
And its satellite Deimos (Deimos means 'terror')
What kind of people do you think we'll find there?

If they're only bacteria, still I resolve
We're not gonna wait for them to evolve
'Cause the next thing you know they'll be smoking cigars
And manufacturing weapons of Mars
Destruction, destruction
You know they want weapons of Mars destruction
I know they want weapons of Mars destruction
Hello, they want weapons of Mars destruction
You know they are ready to start production
Of all their horrible weapons of Mars destruction
Hello, they are ready to start production
Of horrible, horrible weapons of Mars destruction. . .

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.